Midlife Madness Podcast

Edgy, Aggressive, Moody, Irritable ?

• Martha Savloff, Master Certified Health Coach

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Hormones, stress, and sleep collide in midlife, shifting mood in ways that feel sudden and personal but are rooted in biology. We share science-backed tools, faith practices, and daily habits that bring calm back into reach.

• why mood swings, irritability, and aggression rise in perimenopause and menopause
• how estrogen, progesterone, serotonin, and dopamine affect mood
• the role of sleep loss, stress, and brain connectivity changes
• key statistics that validate your experience
• food strategies to steady blood sugar and feelings
• exercise choices, with strength training at the center
• simple sleep hygiene that improves next‑day mood
• journaling, breathwork, humor, and awareness cues
• medical options, HRT adjustments, and supplements
• prayer, reframing, and practical faith for patience
• how to apologize, reset, and ask for support

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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to the Midlife Madness podcast where we get real about menopause, both wellness and faith. Midlife can be mental. Let's make it magical. Welcome back to Midlife Madness, where we talk about crazy menopause, faith, and wellness. And today's topic is something that is not fun, but it does happen. We just have to be honest with ourselves. Mood swings, aggression, being edgy. So I had this conversation with my best friend yesterday that triggered me to talk about this today. We're talking about how probably I am the most stable friend that she has because we're all in our 50s and we all have a little crazy in us. And why is this happening? Like, why are do we all have a little crazy in us? And so we're talking about it's menopause, you know. Some of us are still in perimenopause, some of us are in full-blown menopause, but there she has a friend that is making like these really crazy uh decisions and like really off, like decisions that like a logical person wouldn't do. And and she's like, I've known this lady for since high school, so you can imagine how long it's been, and it just it doesn't make sense of like why she's acting this way, and I'm like, it's it's her hormones, like she her hormones are out of whack, most likely, and she's going through menopause, and it is a thing, like edgy, uh erratic behavior, um, aggression, moody, and I don't know how many times in the last several months my husband has told me that I'm aggressive, and I'm like, I'm not aggressive, like I don't understand where this is coming from because I don't feel like I'm being aggressive, but am I really being aggressive? It's so crazy, guys. Like, it's so crazy because you start asking yourself, like, am I really being aggressive? And sometimes, like, I don't really notice it that I'm operating that way, but other times I feel like I'm edgy, like for example, my husband driving. Like, if I was a pat like a passenger seat driver or a back seat driver ever in my life, now I'm like the worst. It's like 50 times worse than it was it used to be. And I find myself like I'm like like you know, being a little nagging, which I've never been like that before. That tells me that I need to go back to the doctor and adjust my HRT because um, if you're doing hormone replacement therapy, there is uh times where you have to adjust the dosing. So when all these little kind of little side effects or symptoms are or like outputs of perimenopause, because that's where I'm at, I'm in I'm in that stage, um starts showing up again. That's like a little sign that you need to go back and adjust your medication. So, anyways, just a reminder, I'm not a doctor, I'm a certified or master certified health coach, and I do share life experiences, I share stuff that has helped me, has helped my clients, has helped friends and family members. And there's I'm not trying to diagnose or treat anything, uh, but I am just trying to share our stories, so hopefully, it can help you. All right, so let's talk about why this happens. Why does this happen? So, there's a couple of reasons why. Let's talk about the science and the causes. So, hormonal shifts, obviously, always it's a hormonal shift. So, when estrogen drops, it affects your serotonin and dopamine. So, dopamine is our happy brain chemicals. So, like when your serotonin and your dopamine um is being affected, then obviously your mood changes. So, that's one reason why. The second reason is progesterone declines, and when your progesterone declines, then there's like a less calming effect. So, again, the culprits is hormones, right? Also, like sleep disruption. So the last podcast we talked about sleep, super important. But when your sleep is disrupted, then you have less quality of sleep, you have more hot flashes, insomnia can happen, and then you're irritable. And so the next day you're feeling like crap, and you're you're you know, can even be a little angry, irrelevant irritable, can't say that word, moody, edgy, all the things all together. So then what happens is stress amplifies like midlife pressures, aging parents, kids, careers, hormone, roller coaster. A lot of people my age in their 50s, um, and older, we're experiencing having to take care of our parents. Our parents are getting older, our kids might be um in high school, which like like hard age, you know, when when they're having like a bunch of stuff going on, so um stress amplifies, and when stress stress amplifies, then your mood changes too. There's brain rewiring. So research shows estrogen plays a role in brain connectivity. It's like loss can feel like emotional turbulence, so there's like a disconnect can be a little bit in your brain when when estrogen plays a role that it there's a dip, and so there's actually something that can happen in your brain that that causes you to operate a certain way. So this is legit real, guys. Let me share some numbers with you. You guys know I'm a numbers girl and I like to share statistics. So this is per the CDC: 25% of perimenopausal women and 27% of postmenopausal women report frequent trouble falling asleep, which strongly affects mood changes. So we know that. Studies also suggest 40 to 50 percent of women experience noticeable mood swings, irritability, or increased aggression during perimenopause. So that's 40 to 50 percent. And watch this, guys. This is super important. We gotta keep an eye on this because we do not want to fall for this. Depression and anxiety risk doubles in the perimenopausal years, and this is per the North American Menopause Society. So we gotta keep an eye on ourselves and make sure that we're not falling into the depression and anxiety because um that is something that can really, really affect us, obviously, and it can also affect our family members, our our job, you know, our careers, I mean, all the things, and it sometimes can be hard to pull ourselves out of that. So make sure you're not falling into that, guys. So, bottom line, you're not alone, you're not the crazy one. There are common physiological shifts that happen that causes this to happen, guys. So, have any of you guys like, can you comment and let me know if you're going through this? Um, you're not alone, and I gotta tell you, like, I find myself having a little bit of you know, mood roller coasters, and I have to keep myself in check. Thank god I have an amazing husband that is patient with me. Okay, so what can we do to help it? Let's talk about what we can do. So, obviously, there's lifestyle and wellness adjustments that you can do. We always talk about wellness, right? Everything comes down to blood sugar. Like, what are you feeding your body body? So, balance your blood sugar, avoid spikes that worsen being irritable. What does that mean? That means that if you're not if you don't eat, and then all of a sudden you eat something that's high in sugar or high in carbs, you're gonna spike your insulin levels, and that's going to affect your mood. Make sure that you eat a balanced diet, um, lots of protein, lots of lots of vegetables, lots of um good low glycemic, low-sugar fruits, and try to stay away from sugar, period, and then also try to stay away from simple carbs that have no nutritional um uh benefit. So, like you know, white sliced bread and white flour pastas and white rice. Try to go for carbs that are complex carbs, like like your veggie complex carbs, and then also like um carbs that have a lot of fiber and good nutritional um panel for you. So, like for example, brown rice, sweet potato, no white potato, but sweet potato. Um, you can also do like quinoa's, um, any breads that are made out of good seeds and and good uh fiber content in there. So switch it up, switch it up. Stay away from anything white flour, okay? That everything that you put in your mouth and you eat affects you in one way or the other, and so that's like number one thing that you can do. Adjust your diet, guys. Exercise is proven to improve mood and regulate hormone. People ask me all the time, what exercise should I do? And I say, the one that you're gonna stay consistent. If you try to go do an exercise that you hate, the chances of you continuing to do it and staying consistent is zero. So do exercise that you're going to stay consistent. Now, there is a particular exercise that's the best for us women and men too. That uh over during menopause is the best, which is strength training, uh, resistance bands, you know, muscle production exercise. Yes, that is number one for us. However, if you're not that girl and you're not gonna stay consistent with that, then find something that you're going to stay consistent with, okay? It improves your mood so much, and it does help regulate hormones. That's why if I eat anything that has um high glycemic content, like um maybe I decided to eat some pasta that day, or you know, something that it's carbs and sugar that I normally don't eat, but maybe we went out and I just decided to eat that. Afterwards, I go out for a walk because that all that helps regulate your your levels, and so um the the your glycemic level comes down, and so that is a trick. If you eat anything carby or sugary, go for a walk afterwards and help your body burn that, okay. All right, sleep hygiene. We talked about that last podcast. So cool room, magnesium, uh prayer before bed. So obviously, like having good night's sleep is gonna help you with your moods, okay? All right, let's talk about some stress and mindset tools. Um, journaling, doing a brain dump before bed, and getting your emotions out, getting whatever is in your mind, getting it out of your system into a book, journal. Go buy a really cute book and write it up in there, or you can use your phone, whatever you want. I'd rather you do a book because the blue light from the phone is gonna simulate your brain, and then it's not gonna allow you to go to sleep. So do a book, okay. Breathing exercises before bed also helps, and breathing exercises during the day helps you calm down. So if you feel like any irritation is coming your way, then do some breathing exercises. It's okay to do this, it's not weird. It's not weird to like give yourself a minute, time out, and do some breathing exercises. Also, like let's try not to take everything so serious, right? Like, humor and joy is something that we need to have in our lives. Try not to take everything so serious, so get an awareness. Like, are there any like aggression points? Is there anything in particular that making you feel aggressive? And see if you can figure that out because then it can help you um try to stay away from that if you can, right? All right, so here's some medical and nutritional support tips. Again, I'm not a doctor, but here's some things that do work for people hormone replacement therapy or bio-identical options. I do the bio-identical hormones, change my life. It changed my life from one day to the other. It literally did, guys. Omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin B are great for brain and mood support. Herbal supplements like ashroganda, black kohosh. Okay, black kohash has changed my sister-in-law's life. Check it out, look into it. Black kohosh, okay. Um, also, also, let's talk about faith, like praying before reacting. Do an intervention on yourself and bring in prayer. There's a scripture on peace, it's really about the fruit of the spirit. Galatians 5, 22 to 23 says, but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Wow. All right. So, like when you're going through perimetopause, menopause, all the pauses, and you're moody, edgy, and irritable, and all of these things, it's like the very opposite of low love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Holy moly, it cannot be the very opposite. So what do you do? Pray, Lord, help me. Help me with my mood swings, help me with being aggressive, help me have an awareness of when this is happening. Lord, help me walk in the fruit of the spirit with all of these things. Help me be um lovable and joyful and peaceful and patient and kind and faithful, um, gentle, and help me have self-control. God can help you do that. Okay, so add that to your prayer list um and and ask God for help with these things, it does help. Even when our hormones betray us, God will not betray us. God does not leave us or forsake us. That is the truth. Also, encourage yourself or um reframe, do reframing in your head. So, like when you have moments of being irritable, and I have a really hard time saying that word, is the Rs. It's my Spanish tongue, irritable, can become reminders to pause and reconnect with him. So, like, in the moment that you're feeling moody, aggressive, aggressive, or any of these things, pause and just reframe what's think you're thinking in your head and um look towards God. So I hope this is helpful for you. You're not alone, you're not going crazy. There's things that you can do about it. Hormones plus stress plus sleep and equal a mood roller coaster. We need to implement the tools, implement hope, implement your faith, implement your wellness tips so you can get off of this crazy midlife madness roller coaster that it's literally happens to 40 to 50 percent of us. So you're not broken, you're in transition, and God is still writing your story. So it's okay to be in transition and it's okay to feel these things, but it's not okay to stay there because you don't have to. So just make sure that you are doing the things that it's required for you to live a life of peace and joy and love with your family, your friends, your co-workers, because I'm sure they're all feeling it and seeing it. So share this with somebody. If you have a sister, a friend, somebody that is also going through the same thing, then share this with them because again, I was just having a conversation with my best friend yesterday, and she goes through it, her friends are going through it, my friends are going through it, and you don't have to go through it alone, and you don't have to go, you don't have to stay there, go through it, get off the roller coaster, do the things, go check your hormones, go balance your hormones, um do the sleep, your whole sleep routine, stress reducers, eat well, guys, exercise, like all of these things matter. Okay, so and you can say, I'm sorry. I've told my husband I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm so sorry. Now, since I've been taking my biodential hormone, that is not um a thing right now, but like I said, if you I started feeling like maybe there's a shift, so that means that I need to go adjust my hormones. But, anyways, I hope this was helpful. Um, we're gonna continue talking about these topics, guys. Midlife madness has to do with menopause, perimenopause, postmenopause, all the pause. I call them all the pauses, also wellness and also faith because your faith, no matter what your belief belief is, cling to your faith because your faith can help you go through these things. Again, I hope this helped. Subscribe to the channel, watch out. Every week we're gonna post a new podcast on different topics. I'm a true believer providing tips so it can be life application. And my hope is that your life is. Subscribe again. I hope you enjoyed this podcast, and I can't wait for next time. Comment, comment, comment, share, share, share. So like